Being a mum.
It’s a continuous state of being.
The work is never really done.
You are mostly tired and because it’s your new normal it’s doesn’t feel tired.
It’s a different feeling from day to day or just usual tiredness feel.
You walk around in this continuous state.
This is a different kind of tired.
There is always chatter around you.
It feels as the kids never stop talking.

Everyone and everything are competing for your attention.
Sometimes you just don’t want to be here.
Escape it all.
Doesn’t mean you want to walk out on the kids or kill yourself!   NO!
You just want some kind normalcy.
A kind you can’t really describe, but a different kind.
One where you get to have the kids around, mother them but still have the peace and quiet, as well as having all the chores done.
More like everything you have now but with a bit of handle on it all, a bit of alone time without guilt.
Kind of being fully present and still being away from it all.
Having it both ways.
Hard to describe – Utopian motherhood

Maybe we punish ourselves by wanting this weird “more of it all” or an utopia of being away from it all but still having all at the same time. Hmm

Embrace now and stop longing for the Utopian version of your life. I say!
Fully embrace your now and you’ll be surprised of the little pleasures you’ve overlooked.

At the same time, I must admit life can sometimes seem too much to handle.
So, I feel every mum should find an outlet to share how you feel, in a non- judgemental environment. Your mental wellbeing is very important.
For you and your family.

In every phase of life, we have different roles we play, it’s like a suit or costume for that phase.
It could be being a mother, career woman, daughter taking care of elderly parents, protective sister. The real you shows up in the costume, each role you play.
The roles are not you, they are just part of what makes you, because the real you play the parts and wears the costumes. Like professional actors do.
So, I dare say, the real you needs to be cared for, nurtured, to effectively show up for each role.

So, what I’m really saying is, take care of yourself, don’t get lost/stuck in a role, one which only last for a phase or season in your life.
Get support when feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes just talking to someone is all you need.
They don’t need to advice you.
Just having someone listen to you and not judging is very therapeutic.
Enjoy the role and prepare for the next.
Let off steam.

Imagine boiling water in a pressurized container without an outlet to let out steam.
As the temperature and pressure increases, the container will ultimately explode.
As life’s pressure with its intensity increase and varies in our life, we need to let out steam or we will explode.
Take care of you.


By Ololade
(guest Feature)