It’s a very common question, but one rarely fully answered. Or when answered it’s very superficial. Most people will answer by stating a job function/role they carry out, their religion or ethnic background or their position in the family or sexual orientation.

Rarely do people acknowledge the totality of their being. What do I mean by that? I’ll explain shortly but first let’s define what identity is. Dictionary definition of identity is- who a person is, or the qualities of a person or group that make them different from others.

Why is our identity important? it’s the key to our purpose in life. Imagine seeing a gadget you have never seen before, for you to use the object for its intended purpose you must first be able to identify the item. So, it is with each one of us. The key to our purpose is our identity.

So, what makes you and I who we are. What is the unique quality that makes us human and further what is our individual unique qualities? First, humans are unique and different from all other species on earth. We are the only ones that have a Spirit, Soul and Body.

Every human has a Spirit, there so many near death experience and religion to support this. Our Soul houses the mind, will and emotions and they all live in a container called our body. I sometimes refer to the body as a receiver. We receive and transmit signal through our body via our senses.

Let’s, further breakdown the Soul, it is made up of our mind, the processing centre where all we receive, through our sense from the outside world is processed. Our thoughts, values, personality, beliefs, strengths, bias (good and bad) all live here. Our emotion – the interpretation of our thoughts and will – the ability to choose are all housed in the soul, they make up the soul.

Our body is what everyone sees and tends to judge us by, sometimes we are identified by action we perform with our body. Our body with all its complexities is the physical tool that helps with connecting to the outside world and physically processes information for the mind. We interact with world through our body.

Either way, we are not just roles we perform or colour of skin, or physical attributes only. We are more than that. We are tripartite being- a mouthful I know. We are all Spirit beings with a Soul, living in a Body. That is the first unique quality as a race or specie.

As an individual, our unique qualities lie in the connection of spirit, the composition of our mind, choices we make, how we process our emotion and finally the state of our body. Each human has a different and unique composition. Not one person is the same.

Incongruence happens when there is a disconnection in any part of the link. Most common is the unconscious disconnect or the lack of awareness of the Spirit. Secondly is the lack of harmony (dissonance) between the spirit and soul- where you are aware of your spirituality, but it has no effect on your mind, will or emotion. Finally, the second most common is like a fog of dissonance between the soul (Mind/will/emotion) and the body. This is when you question who you are and do not readily acknowledge your- thought patterns, beliefs, values, personality, experiences, and strengths. You live on autopilot and feel something is missing, sometimes feel isolated, lonely, tired of giving. Wanting something just for you, but you really can’t describe it. Another dissonance is between the body and everything else and it usually weight, health issue and there are tons of help there to deal with body issue.

I have been through all the phases and I can tell you it’s not easy but there is a way out and help is available to support you as you navigate through it all. Drop me a line if you want to explore more about the topic or schedule a call via this link  https://calendly.com/adeboun/45mins-chat